Looking after number 1

Thank you for following my blog and let me say that I feel a bit like Thomas Eddison may have felt when he sensed he was about to have his breakthrough!

I'll start by briefly mentioning that before Sigmund Freud, both Buddha and Plato described the devided self. The Buddha had the metaphor of the split mind - a rational rider atop an irrational elephant. To Plato the psyche was a charioteer, our reason guiding the wild horse of our passions. Freud depicted the ego as the carriage driver, id as the wild beasts pulling the carriage and the superego as the driver's father who tells him what he is doing wrong. He considered our id to be a pleasure seeker, wanting whatever feels good at the time, with no consideration for the reality of the situation, speaking up until his or her needs are met, the basic part that drives us from birth and is linked to our need to survive, eat, drink, reproduce, etc. The ego is the part of the psyche that consists of our reason and rational behavior, the things we've learned, our intellectual self and our "minds". The super ego is more commonly known as our conscience and it's basically the ego average of society (like Carl Jung’s theory of the collective unconscious). It's the part that controls our behavior, allows us to know right from wrong, is the source of our feelings of guilt and it's supposed to prevent the chaos and anarchy that would come if our basest, animal impulses (id) was to take control of our lives. For my part, it is fascinating to see how my id has and continues to play a huge part in my daily focus and choices. What is more fascinating that that, however, is how freedom and self love may have everything to do with taking better care of my id!

"But enough about me... Lets talk about you...
What do YOU think about me?" Id

I brought this picture of my mum and me into an Insight Seminar when I was asked to bring in a picture of love! Now I see how taking joyful responsibility for my life is to be my own best parent and coach! How? By asking myself "How can I best look after my id right now, today, this week, month, year"? I thought I was doing alright since I have so much fun and freedom in my life, few responsibilities, many quality friends and fun things to do at the weekends. I live to party and this is being threatened by my id's short sightedness, or rather by my (until now) unquestioned assuption that id knows how to get to where we are going. I am grateful to my financial situation for it is forcing me to see what is not working and what needs to change and the truly good, no... Make that GREAT NEWS is that it's still about about Mr. Id and what he wants!!! Time to become even more deliberate about my self centeredness! Looking after number ONE!. I had a chat with my id in the car yesterday and he told me that he needs me, he wants me to take care of him. He may not be the smartest part of my psyche but he knows that he is going to be here today AND tomorrow and he'll want his needs met then as well so... Lets make sure that I am thinking about tomorrow too and not just throwing in the towel because my id is such a kid!!!

He knows he is cranky and short sighted but he wants me to take responsibility for him because that is MY JOB! His job is to be who he is!!! My id needs me today AND tomorrow and looking after his needs is MY JOB!!!! He just wants me to do my job and that is precisely what God and Jesus want. For me to love myself. That implies freedom! The freedom to think long term, go for real happiness rather than pleasure, go for what I want rather than what I like, take more responsibility for my finances and other areas of my life. In other words, take better care of id and polish rather than crack myself against that part of my psyche!
My id wants me to do a better job of looking after him and this is closest to the bull's eye when it comes to Self Love and Freedom for me! I was confusing "giving into it" with "looking after it!". How innocent of me. I confused freedom with letting my kid be a kid, which my dad wasn't very good at, compared to my mum!!! So there I was, trapped and wishing I was free. Free to do what? PLAY of course!!!

My id is my instant gratifier, my rebel and the part of me that I have associated with freedom, without question for far too long. Now, there are two kinds of freedom. Freedom to do what I like (which usually means giving in to the short term thinking of my id) and to do what I want, which usually means deliberate attention to long term gains and thus application of common sense (my ego's job - to think!). My id wants my ego to remember what id is like, not to take it personally and to do his job and think long term! Amazing!!! I am my id's bitch and I'm proud of it. Funny to consider how we all are and that's why supermarket shelves are 90% full of comfort eating! It's an insult to our id's really. "yeah, we know you are into instant gratification and that's why you are 'low on cash' and into cheap food so here you are little boy/girl. We know you love a tasty bargain!". To be truly free may mean being a conscious and deliberate about how I take care of my id! This requires Thought (i.e. Ego: common sense, intelligence, presence of mind). My behaviours have been very much based on my feelings which seem to be mainly id driven and I haven't been applying as much thought into my actions as would be wise for me to apply, if I really care to keep my id happy longer. The synthesis of my decisions and the purpose of my life may indeed be to be true to myself by taking care of my id for my values are my id's! Fun, play, excitement, partying, socializing, sex, drugs, music!

For example, kids will often act on their emotions, without thought to their ecology but when they are asked to consider their actions (i.e. throwing a brick from a bridge at traffic below) then they can more easily see what they are doing. Many end up in jail precisely because they did not practice a balance between the 3. (Thank you Delia for this metaphore)

I love the idea of liberating other peoples heart's through liberating my own heart and although it may not be obvious to my id, it is clear to me that as a successful entrepreneur, my "job" is to be of the utmost service that I can. This means that I am solving peoples problems and thus being focused on other's needs and wants. It's in my id's best interests that I do well by doing well and off course... An attractive carrot is that of financial freedom which means earning more than I spend supporting a lifestyle that I want, through passive income. It's impossible to be selfish without being selfless for I am not an island. The art of being self-full requires it.

"Unless we change direction, we are likely to end up where we are going" says the Chinese proverb. I'd just like to mention one more point and that is imagine you are at the helm of a huge ship moving forward at high speed. Now, how is it possible for a single, person to change the course of something so massive? By moving a steering wheel that operates a rudder, which then turns the ship, sure... but the rudder itself can be enormous, perhaps even ten stories tall on some ocean liners. So what moves the rudder? A tiny second rudder called a trim tab, which is attached to the big rudder. Through the marvels of engineering, when the trim tab swings to one side, it creates just enough vacuum to pull the big rudder around. The trim tab is tiny compared to the size and weight of the ship, yet it is the trim tab that determines the ship’s course. In other words, what is the one action that will have a domino effect on the rest of the check list required to make the desired changes. I thought my health and wealth were the main trim tabs in my life but right now I think it's "taking better care of my id!"

"Blessed are the self centered for they shall know God"
Neil Donald Walsh (conversations With God)